Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Thoughts of Home

Group 82 closed service this month and come November they will start to trickle back to America, some choosing to stay longer than others. Also my big sister is back in the states and has started her adventure as a teacher finishing up her student teaching. These things have got me thinking about the future a lot and imaging what it will bring for me. Since my plan now is to go back to the states and get my certification like my sister did it’s easy to hear her stories and picture myself in her shoes. This leads to all kinds of inner turmoil. It makes me scared but also incredibly excited. It makes me worry about money and where I’ll live. It also makes me anxious to start my next adventure and a new phase of my life. As my mother would say I am borrowing worries. What are these crazy thoughts doing in head; I still have more than a year of service left? The other effect of this day dreaming is that as I picture myself on the next phase, I am picturing my life back in America. This inevitably leads to me really missing things in America. I picture myself driving to work, and I missing driving. I picture myself on a couch with a beer exhausted after a long day’s work, and I miss couches, and good beer. I think that this is my mind showing signs that it’s ready for a real break; to reconnect with my life by seeing my family and remembering who I am outside of this place. Christmas will be well needed by the time it rolls around. I still love it here and love what I am doing. I am confident, that after a month away, I will be ready to come back and raring to tackle my second year. So for now my goal is to just keep my head in the present as much as possible, and push through till Christmas.

2 comments:

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