Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Some Days are Harder then Others

From my blog you can see that I don’t under go much physical hardship. My life is very comfortable in a material sense. I don’t sleep on dirt floors or even shower from a bucket. I definitely don’t have the luxuries of home but my needs are all meet. I safe, well fed, clean, and over all very physically comfortable. This does not mean that my time here as been a piece of cake. So far everything is still very new and exciting and this tends to overshadow nerves and doubts. I try and go out side everyday and look around and let the wonder of this place push aside any negative thoughts. There are days that this just doesn’t seem to work. There are days when the loneliness gets to you no matter how many people are in the room with you. There are days when you wake up and wonder what you are doing here. This happens a lot right now, as school hasn’t started yet so we haven’t started working. We spend our days sitting around, sleeping, reading, and if your lucking getting out of the house a bit for a walk. This question “why am I here” has become harder and harder to answer. This temporary gap in time between training and work has reeked havoc on our moral. We aren’t emotional or mental comfortable in our surroundings yet and we don’t have a purpose to push us through it. School will start soon and we will be able to bury ourselves in our work. The answer will become clear again and I know that it will all start to make sense. There will still be hard days, plenty of them I’m sure, but I didn’t join Peace Corp because I though it would be easy. I didn’t join Peace Corp to read romance novels all day either. This in between time has been tough on all of us. We were so busy during training we didn’t have time to face a lot of our emotional demons, but we have had nothing but time for the last few weeks. We have made sure to see as much of each other as we can. It really helps to renew your purpose and make us feel like we’re not in this alone. Over all the good days always out number the bad and the smiles out number the tears. There are moments of hardship and confusion but I just keep remembering to look forward a push on because greatness is coming, and like I said it always helps to look around and let your self be swept away by the wonderment. 

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