Saturday, February 5, 2011

School Slump

      So it’s the second day of school and to be honest I'm not quite sure how to feel. The same routine as yesterday as began and the children have spent the day cleaning, weeding, and moving furniture. The teachers just sit around or order the children around. I see the merit of this system because it seems to be a necessity and it inspires pride and ownership in the students. It is hard to accept from my very American point of view that time that is allotted for the children is being spent cleaning. It is also tough because we have all been looking forward to school starting for so long and I really wanted to get stuck in and it seems that won’t be happening for a while. The biggest challenge here is definitely patience. It’s all about waiting. Things take time, a lot of time, and everything takes two or three times what it does in America. I should be used to this as I have lived in several developing countries that have a similar pace, but it seems it will be my biggest adjustment. I have talked to some of the other volunteers and it seems that you start going by Samoan time some time after your first year. I can’t wait because right now all this sitting around and waiting, not to mention the incredible inefficiency of everything, is killing me. I know that school will slowly gear up and I’ll get stuck in, I also know that this will give me purpose and drive. It just seems that even getting that is going to be a while. I keep reminding myself that slow and steady wins the race. Hopefully this applies to the Peace Corp. It’s just hard because after so long waiting to feel integrated, to feel productive, to feel confident, you start to wonder if you ever will. Deep down I know I will eventually and every day I get closer, it’s just crazy to realize it probably won’t be till around my one year point. That means I have a year of feeling like a fish out of water and a chaos of emotions. I knew this went I signed up and it is all part of the adventure but as a person who is used to feeling in control and confident, sometimes that year without it feels like an eternity. School starting! This really means me sitting around waiting for the cleaning to finish and classes to start but hey at least it’s better than being stuck in my house!

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